Author intent

Modern psychology teaches everyone to chalk out clear-cut goals and achieving them in the shortest duration. Psychologists, motivational experts and behavioural scientists are forever busy researching on easy and quick paths to Self-realisation. Fast, clear and smooth is the new mantra. But does it work in the longer run? Not really. People go through this achievement exercise, find it exciting for some time and then one fine day become disillusioned. A client shared that as a child he was told that everything will be fine if he got good marks. As he finished his post-graduation, he believed the socially accepted fantasy that everything will be fine if he got a well-paid job. Then he had similar hopes - from salary hikes, success, marriage, fatherhood, lavish partying, to practising relaxation techniques, buying a fancy car and owning a luxury apartment. He reported that at each stage of achieving something he felt on top of the world, but only for a short while. Soon, he felt empty and then he chalked another goal thinking that maybe this time he will stay happy for a longer duration. But nothing worked. Now for the last two years, he was struggling with the question 'who am i?' People thought that he was depressed and he should distract himself from this futile philosophical question. Ironically, he was advised by many to chalk out yet another goal to get over this psychological crisis or take pills to feel happy. While 'who am i?' appears to be a futile question, it is the door to the greatest good. All of us are born with a true Self that has unique potential; we can realise it if we hear our inner voice. However, we are taught right from day one what is socially valued and what is not. If we follow what is socially accepted, we get love and recognition; other-wise, criticism and rejection await us. As a result, we start doing what the world expects from us - money, fame, lavish lifestyle, designer body, umpteen possessions, pleasure and clear-cut goals. Thus, the question 'who am i?' is deliberately suppressed. This question, if pursued, may get you what you have been searching for all along. Therefore, once you reach a point where you have surety that you can execute your worldly duties, it is time to turn inward. Stop asking people what you should be doing. Do not trust psychological tests that claim to tell you what is good for you. There are no standard answers. Each person has to find his own answer. The real psychology lies in discovering and realising who you are. Who am I? Think about this question; let it trouble you. Let it shake you up. Let it make you uncertain about your identity. If others try to pull you back into mainstream dramas, refuse politely and persist. Often, others distract you because they find this question scary and want to forget it. In my experience as a psychologist, I often find that the unknown zone looks scary in the beginning but if you stay on and explore, you will be in for a surprise. Once you break away from social conditionings in your mind, you will get a taste of real freedom. You will gradually become what you are and not what people want you to be. You will experience happiness and contentment.